6 Questions to Check In on Our Pastor

When was the last time that we checked in with our pastor? For so many of us, that is an odd concept. We are used to the pastor checking in with us or asking us about something. But when do we make sure that they are doing okay both physically and spiritually? And what kind of questions do we ask?

I want to write these questions in the format that presumes that you already have a friendship with your pastor and that you have the freedom inside of that relationship to ask some bold questions. My responses and reasons behind these questions are as someone who struggles alongside you in ministry. To say that I, or any pastor, have it together in all of these areas is a misunderstanding of what pastors do.

Additionally, while I use the term pastor, the following questions can be asked of anyone who serves in ministry. I hope that by asking questions such as these, we can grow towards a better understanding of each other and a healthier ministry.

1. What are you reading?

Before we begin, this question falls into two categories. First, I am interested in what part of the Bible you are reading. So many of us are reading our Bible as lesson/sermon preparation. This is especially true when preparing multiple studies per week. So, to counter that habit, I want to know where in God’s Word you are reading for your own edification and sanctification of your daily habits.

Second, what other things are they reading? Books, articles, blogs, magazines, and many other things. I enjoy asking that question to many people (not just pastors) because they typically start talking about the plot or what they’ve learned. Also, this question is an excellent way of discovering more about your friend’s personality.

My word of warning is when a pastor doesn’t have an answer for what they are reading. It becomes a danger when there is limited interest or only studying for the next lesson. Additionally, as a good friend, have a recommendation ready if you find yourself in this situation.

2. What /who are you listening to? 

I put both of these questions together intentionally because of the impact. The question will typically appear more natural: “What pastors or sermons have you listened to in the past month?” This needs to be asked of pastors because a sermon is spiritual food for them, and they need to receive in addition to giving. Additionally, this can extend to podcasts, audiobooks, and even what is playing on the radio as they drive. Similar to the book question, a person typically offers much information about what they enjoy.

3. Prayer Questions

A very bold question in any context is about someone’s prayer life. However, prayer is a unique aspect of Christianity. As pastors, we will often lead prayer, talk about a prayer list, or encourage others to share something in their lives. However, I am more interested in the prayers of the pastor. With questions such as:

• What is your prayer routine? (daily or weekly)
• How is your prayer life? (What do you find challenging to pray about? Or is there an idea or theme recurring in your prayers?)
• What are your requests for yourself?

For those that I am close with and have the boldness to ask these questions, I am not asking when they last prayed for others or for the ministry that you are doing. The question is, when was the last time that they prayed for themselves? 

4. The hard question: What do you need to stop doing?

I have to sigh when I even read or write this question. I tend to ask myself, what else could I be doing to help, further ministry, or push the church forward? I often have people in my church and life who ask me this question, so I have to consider what I need to stop doing.

Ephesians 4:12a says, “to equip the saints for the work of ministry.” This verse leads to some very simple follow-ups for a pastor:

• Have you trained or equipped others in the church?
• Do you trust other people in your local church family?
• Have you given them opportunities?
• And if you have answered yes to the other three, why are you still doing it?

5. The Sleep Questions

We all know that you are not getting enough. If you are like me, I believe too often the lie that I’m fine. Or this is the “amount” of sleep that I get. Between caffeine and not being able to calm my mind enough, I’ve accepted that this is my amount of sleep. Allow me to encourage you to look into many studies that examine the amount of sleep to a person’s productivity. (Here is an example.) So let’s begin asking the questions:

• On average, how much sleep are you getting?
• Do you feel rested?
• What is your typical routine?
• When was the last time you turned your phone off and took a nap? (Turn your phone off. Jesus took naps…be like Jesus!)

In the end, you have to rest. And this is coming from someone who struggles in this area. If you are not getting enough, then the amount of fatigue, burnout, and other complications begin multiplying.

6. When do you find time to move/exercise? 

I know that this sounds weird talking about moving just after talking about rest. However, being a pastor has a tendency to be a very sedentary occupation. And if you are like me, I have to be intentional in my physical moving. One of my favorite solutions for this problem is a timer. Especially on my days that are dedicated to studying or I have a large amount of paperwork. I set a timer around 20 to 25 minutes. After the timer, I take five minutes to stretch, walk, or simply stand and take some deep breaths. Then around every couple of hours, I take a longer break and try to get in a more extensive walk.

Pastor Mark’s Take Away:

I want you to take care of yourself. Ministry is tough on a good day. If we do not take care of ourselves physically, mentally, and spiritually then what do we have to pour into the lives of other people?